8 Interesting Steam Curators

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Here’s an article about 8 entertaining and/or useful Steam reviewers for your reading pleasure!

Featured/Title image is an edited version of a picture by Pexels user Magda Ehlers. The unedited version can be found here.

Like many of us, I don’t always have the time, money, or energy to try out something.

So isn’t it a good thing that some kind souls have taken it upon themselves to review games as a free service? Some of these kind souls are called ‘Steam Curators’ because they curate their game reviews on Steam, the most popular and by far the best (even though it’s still terrible) storefront/launcher combo for PC gaming.

Here are some Steam Curators I rely on to help me make purchasing decisions, all for different reasons. If you also game on Steam, I invite you to do likewise!

I have listed them in order of verbosity, which, if you’re not a nerd, means ‘how wordy someone is’. Fun Fact: Verbosity also means the exact same thing if you are a nerd. Which I would know. As I am one.

Yes/No

There’s a (possibly apocryphal ) story about an old-timey play called ‘A Good Time’. According to the story, the newspaper review for the play was simply one word: ‘No’.

Whether or not that story is actually true, the idea for the review itself is fantastic.

Something else that’s fantastic is the Steam Curator named Yes/No. I’m quite confident that I don’t need to explain how they operate. It does what is says on the box, as my stepdad used to say.

Their Steam Curator page can be found here.

No, I Am Your Father!

This one is kind of ironic (in a non-sarcastic way) because their username starts with the word ‘No’ but they only review games they’d recommend to others.

If they like a game, they will review it with the text ‘I am your Father! Luke, Join me.’

And just to be 100% clear: That’s not how the full quote actually goes in Avengers: Endgame when Dracula says it to Rainbow Brite, but whatever – but it’s not like anyone cares about accuracy these days.

Their Steam Curator page can be found here.

A man of culture

A man of culture is another Steam Curator who only reviews games they’d recommend to others.

Much like No, I am your Father!, A man of culture reviews their games with a copy-pasted text: ‘Ah, I see you are a man of culture as well.’

Well, I assume it’s copy-pasted. Maybe they type the whole thing out every single time. I don’t know these things.

Their Steam Curator page can be found here.

Neptune Review

Neptune Review is inspired by the game/manga/anime/whatever series Hyperdimension Neptunia.

I don’t much about the series beyond what a quick Wikipedia page read would give me, but there appears to be a meme from the series’ fans involving variants of the phrase ‘nep nep nep nep’ or using the word ‘nep’ like the Smurfs use the word ‘smurf’.

Once again, we have another Steam Curator who only reviews games they like, and this time they use the text (wait for this you won’t see it coming) ‘nep nep nep nep

Their Steam Curator page can be found here.

Critiquing Doge

Readers who are able to notice patterns won’t be surprised to find out that Critiquing Doge only reviews games they’d recommend to others, and that the Curator is using the persona/vibe of a meme to do so.

The first sentence always starts with ‘Many’, the second sentence always starts with ‘Such’, and the third (and final) sentence always starts with ‘Very’. The review is then closed off with a score out of 10 which is measured in paws.

For example, here’s Critiquing Doge’s actual review for Deep Rock Galactic, in full:

“Many gems. Such mining. Very dark. 9/10 paws. 🐾”

Their Steam Curator page can be found here.

Games at risk of removal

All these novelty/meme Steam Curators are good fun, but sometimes we need actual information.

Remember before when I said Steam was the best PC store/launcher, but also terrible? One thing in the ‘terrible’ column about Steam is that it doesn’t let us know when certain games are going to be leaving the platform.

But it’s okay, because Games at risk of removal has our back!

Ah, PC gaming – where multi-billion-dollar companies can’t provide basic Quality of Life functionality and yet some kind soul can somehow manage to do it for free. All the Bethesda fans out there know exactly what I’m talking about.

I don’t know why, but they only seem to review games that they enjoy. There’s apparently one game they recommended against, but the review doesn’t pop up when I click on it – probably because the game was removed.

Their Steam Curator page can be found here.

It’s shit

Are you sick of the Curators on this list only reviewing games they like? Me too!

So isn’t it refreshing that It’s shit does the exact opposite?

Sometimes I’m not in the mood for rainbow-anime-lovey-dovey crap. Sometimes I just want to know if a game is any good or not. It’s shit is perfect for those among us that have many issues with many parts of the gaming industry, such as terrible game design and the like.

Sometimes I just want to silently hate on a game. Sometimes I just want to seethe internally when I think what gaming has turned into over the last few decades. And it’s so much nicer to do that while I can read about how someone else agrees with me!

If you’re a terrible person who sometimes enjoys hating things like I do, their Steam Curator page can be found here.

Shitlisting Service

Shitlisting Service is almost everything I want in a Steam Curator.

If It’s shit is the curator I go for schadenfreude (which it is), then Shitlisting Service is the curator I go to for actual game-buying advice.

Unlike most of the other Curators on the list, Shitlisting Service will review games they enjoy and games they don’t enjoy.

I think the thing I like the most about Shitlisting Service is that they answer all the questions I have about a game.

Questions such as:

  • Is this version of the game literally just a crappy console port?
  • Does the game come with hidden spyware?
  • Does it use outdated bloatware to combat piracy, even though the very existence of Steam itself is supposed to make piracy irrelevant?
  • Are the devs total asshats?

And so on.

The only thing I don’t like about Shitlisting Service is that some of their phrasings can be, shall we say, problematic. That aside – they’re very useful for untrusting and suspicious gamers such as myself.

If you’re interested, their Steam Curator page can be found here.

Do you already follow any of these Steam Curators? Did you start following any because of this article? Are there more like this that you think the author might like to follow? Feel free to comment below!

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