The Legend of Tarzan Trailer: Just No

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The Worst Aspects of Trailers, Reboots and CGI are All In the ‘Legend Of Tarzan’ Trailer

Now, first off, I don’t mind CGI. Far from it. In fact, when done right, it can be truly breathtaking and add an otherwise expensive or impossible aspect to a movie. Does the new ‘Legend of Tarzan‘ trailer manage to do this?

No. Just no.

After the final article in the LOWDOWN series (to date, at least), retreating into the shadows of my editing chair here on Digital Fox suited me perfectly. Yet, despite helping others, I missed writing my own articles – fresh full-time work can sadly limit my availability for passions.

So, when offered an article on an upcoming release I jumped at the chance! “Finally, I can write a small piece on a trailer without getting hung up on the details”, I naively thought.

Then I realised that this was none other than the ‘Legend of Tarzan’ trailer.

This is what has broken my silence since November 2015. This is my reason for stepping out into the light, like Gollum after an all-nighter. Oh, joyous, cynical day, where to begin?

legend of tarzan trailer - gollum

Well, first up, that is the best trailer available as of the time I’m writing. The other teaser confuses what we can tell of the storyline even further by bringing in tribes and more civilisation, so we’ll ignore that for now. After all, we have to give the ‘Legend of Tarzan’ trailer a fighting chance.

So, how are we holding up in the trailer?

Dull fade-outs in an attempt to create tension, a discount Indiana Jones in the rain, the most dispassionate grieving father I’ve ever heard and an extremely fake treehouse in a storm. In the first 15 seconds.

Okay, so it’s too painful to dissect, no matter how cathartic that would be. A summary instead. John Hurt, Samuel L. Jackson and Christoph Waltz all have a single line of dialogue (because this film requires famous actors to sell it instead of earning its credibility). The CGI is so heavy-handed that even baby Tarzan doesn’t bat an eyelid. There’s absolutely no sense of plot and the whole thing just feels pointless.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but at least the (absolutely abysmal) Tarzan from 2013 had a plot that you could see from the trailer!

Yes, that one was also rubbish (sorry Gollum), but the ‘Legend of Tarzan’ trailer is just a bunch of references to the old Disney cartoon with famous names scattered for good measure. Want me to prove it?

From the Legend of Tarzan trailer, you’d be fairly safe in guessing that the film starts with his family in the jungle, gorillas killing his father (what happened to Sabor?) and then follows him meeting Jane, Clayton, etc., etc., big fight.

Honestly, if I’m proven to be wrong about this movie, then I’ll happily admit so. However, this trailer is and always will be the very epitome of what I hate about trailers, reboots and bad CGI. It’s not representative, looks ugly and is generally pretty pointless.

Hey, at least we broke the dry spell though.

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